


One Fear, Two Laughs

by Aelig



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Robin: Son of Batman (Comics)
Genre: Bats-Bonding, Brotherly Bonding, Condiment King is here for a wild minute, Fluff, Gen, Good Older Sibling Jason Todd, Good Sibling Damian Wayne, Gotham/Metropolis rivalry is here for a hot second, Gothamites are another species, Humor, Jason Todd and Damian Wayne are Siblings, Jason and Damian bonding by scaring bad guys, Kidnapping, Mention of abuse, POV Outsider, Protective Damian Wayne, Some angst, The Batfam being creepy/cryptids for fun, The OCs are like, and one scared thug, mention of drugs, non-binary original character - Freeform, one innocent little girl, one sassy working girl, one tired student, one very done hostage, one wild grandpa, people in Gotham are... something
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:29:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28206882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aelig/pseuds/Aelig
Summary: "Jess let out her own snort as the laugher faded in the wind. Soon, there was silence again, and she took her chance. “So, what are you two doing here? Should I go home now?”“Nah, don't worry. We're... doing some bonding.”“Bonding,” noted Jess. “Is that some kind of code word for, we're tied up and in great peril? Should I call Batman?” She couldn't help the sarcastic tone in her voice. "OR: Red Hood and Robin bonding in patrol, as seen by Gotham's civilians.
Relationships: Jason Todd & Damian Wayne
Comments: 19
Kudos: 216
Collections: BatFam Winter Gift Exchange 2020





	One Fear, Two Laughs

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SyriaKozma](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SyriaKozma/gifts).



> Hello everyone!!
> 
> I'm very excited to post this fic for the Batfam Christmas exchange!! It was very fun to write, I hope you will like it!! :smek:
> 
> Here my instructions:
> 
> "Name: Jarlemis  
> Fav character: Jason  
> Three Favorite relationships (romo and non-romo marked) Batfamily, Alfred & Jason, Dami & Jason  
> What are three things you love to see? (Think tropes or moods) cryptid/creepy batfam(especially them just doing that for laughs), all of them being nerds, outsider POV  
> Any important nopes? Omega-verse"
> 
> Thanks so much to my beta for her wonderful work on it!! :heart:

**i- Jessica**

Jess was at her usual spot on the street, waiting for some clients to come around. Autumn was coming to its end, and like always in Gotham, winter was already sitting in. Even her bones were freezing, but she couldn't complain; at least she had a home to come back to at the end of the day. Not everyone did.

A suspicious noise came from the alley behind her. Well, not really behind her, more like beside and behind at the same time – but you know what? That wasn't even that important.

The noise, though. The noise was important. Just a _thud_ and a _clang_ , like someone had landed on a fire exit with the most discretion possible. In a city like Gotham, either it was a cat, a vigilante or a crazy supervillain. Or, if you were lucky, the one who was all the three at once, aka Catwoman.

Not that she didn't like Catwoman, but Jess really didn't want to be around her. You never knew what side she was on until it was too late.

Jess turned her head a little, debating with herself about what to do next. She could go and look for what produced the noise, or stay here and pretend it never happened. But Jess was a Gotham native, and she knew that chasing after a suspicious noise was the best way to get killed or kidnapped. Or worse. Worse could always happen.

So, staying where she was, then. Pretend it never happened, and staying alert just in case. She could do that.

Jess was ready to move on when she heard a _voice_. A tiny, childish, exasperated voice.

“I told you she didn't hear us.”

Joke's on you, kid. She heard just fine, she just wasn't stupid enough to go look out for them.

“Shhh, brat. I know her, she's just smart, alright?”

And at that, Jess snorted. She recognized the voice – the modulator was signature enough of Red Hood.

Now, she was half-tempted to tease them, just because she could. Only moving her head a little so no one from the street she was in could really see what she was doing, she started talking.

“I wouldn't be so sure, kid. And thanks, Hood.”

A loud silence followed her words. Then, she heard a snort, evolving into a real, bubbly laugh. Jess smirked.

“Stop laughing, Hood!” came the young voice again, and Jess would bet it was Robin. She'd never heard him before, or even seen him. But his voice... His voice was clearly showing he was only a child.

“No can do, squirt.”

Jess let out her own snort as the laugher faded in the wind. Soon, there was silence again, and she took her chance. “So, what are you two doing here? Should I go home now?”

“Nah, don't worry. We're... doing some bonding.”

“Bonding,” noted Jess. “Is that some kind of code word for, _we're tied up and in great peril_? Should I call Batman?” She couldn't help the sarcastic tone in her voice.

“We're _fine_ ,” groaned the kid. “No need to call anyone.”

“Yeah, we're okay. I'm trying to teach him some things but he doesn't want to listen.”

“What a tragedy,” commented Jess, smile at her lips now. It was... Kind of cute, the image she pictured now in her head. And, well, she could take having shadowed vigilante companions – she preferred it to the idea of something dangerous happening around there.

“How do you two know each other, anyway?” piped up the kid.

Jess blinked, because she really had no idea how to answer that. How to explain to a child – even if he was Robin – that she was a working girl, a prostitute because she had no other choice to pay for her sister's studies, their rent, and the groceries every month; that Red Hood protected her and the other girls in Crime Alley and the neighborhood, beating up the worst clients and keeping them away from the gangs and worse; that he was the man all of them trusted without a doubt.

“It's work-related,” said Red Hood, and the kid seemed to accept it. She couldn't know for sure, but he didn't try to pry more out of them.

Jess should leave it at that, go away, try to have an useful night; instead, she hummed and tilted her head and decided it was worth it to keep the discussion going.

“So, what are you trying to teach him?”

There was a new silence – this one long enough for her to start wondering if they had left without noticing her first. She wouldn't put it past them.

“Bats stuff,” said Red Hood again, this time with a laugh in his voice. “He's bad at it.”

“I am not _bad_ at this. It is just pointless. No one else told me it was important. You're probably making everything up.”

“Wow, are you telling me you don't trust me right now? Truly, Robin, I'm wounded.”

“Stop that, you idiot.”

Jess hid a laugh behind her hand. If she doubted it before, it was all the confirmation she needed that these two were siblings – they reminded her of the conversation she had just this morning with her younger sister.

She wasn't able to hide it any longer when Red Hood started a long rant about family and trust that she was pretty sure she'd heard in a Disney movie not so long ago.

Robin let out a long-suffering sigh. “I despise you, Hood.”

“No you don't,” immediately answered the older one, glee in his voice.

They were lucky no one else was around.

… Actually, it was probably why they sounded so... relaxed. Did that mean she had their trust?

… Somehow, she didn't want the answer to that. Being seen on friendly terms with the Bats around there would never bring you good things – anyone could report you to a gang or another, and then you were dead. Or worse. No one was really friends with the Bats – either you were protected by them, hunted by them, or simply in their way. She'd always fallen into the first and last options, and she didn't want that to change now. It felt too weird to think of being anything else to them. The Bats were just – _something_ _else_ than all of them, ordinary civilians of Gotham.

“Oh, hey, Robin, here's your target.”

It caught her attention immediately; she tensed, gaze wandering along for anything suspicious. “I thought nothing bad was supposed to happen?”

“Hey, don't worry,” said Red Hood, more soothing now – it was the voice he used with Addie last time, when her client- It was the voice that made him sound young, and less dangerous. “I promise, there's nothing dangerous around. It's for what I'm teaching the kid.”

Jess took a breath – she had no reason to disbelieve him, after. He had been nothing but trustworthy since she met him.

“The target is a man who's... a very bad husband and father. We're trying to find proof of everything before we bring him to justice. Also, we want a confession, so... Let's just say we're working on that.”

And, well, with this news information – Jess was feeling kind of curious, now. About what he meant by that, how that would happen, what they were doing.

She got an answer soon enough, but definitely not the one she had been expecting.

_Fog_ was shooting out from the alley. There wasn't a trace of fog anywhere else, being a clear night. Her hair stood on end as she realized it must be from the boys. Then, she heard some weird, low giggles, followed by a surprised yelp. Something or some sort of conversation was taking place, there were low voices drifting out, too faint to be heard. Then, a scream echoed not so soon after. A man stumbled out of the alley, yelling, eyes wide with panic. He stopped near her, a frantic and shaking hand gesturing to where he was coming from. “It's a demon! _A demon_!”

Then, before she could even begin to think of how to react, he started running away. Soon enough, he was out of sight.

“How was I?” asked Robin a handful of seconds later. Even if he said beforehand that what he was supposed to learn was stupid, he seemed eager to hear what Red Hood thought about his exploit, whatever it was.

“Very good, Robin, very good. A demon? It fit _perfectly_.”

Jess raised an eyebrow.

She was still curious. She also really, really didn't want to know.

“Well, we're done here. Bye, Jess, stay safe. You know how to call me if you need it.”

She smiled, nodding her head a little.

“Yep. Bye Hood, bye kid.”

“Have a good night, Miss,” said Robin – it was the last thing she heard from them.

She didn't know for sure that they were gone, of course – but it was as if something in the air changed with their departure, even if she couldn't pinpoint what.

A _demon_. What the hell the kid did to this man?

… Oh, well. He probably deserved it anyway.

* * *

**ii- Gareth**

The night was clear, the streets (mostly) empty, and Gareth was in deep, deep shit.

He had just wanted a nice night out with his friends, away from the stress of their exams. But then, _stupid Gary_ had thought it was a good idea to have some _fun_ , and now here they were – in deep shit.

Just in case it needed to be said one more time: deep. Shit. No _thanks_ , Gary.

There was a drug deal going on. And they were in the middle of it. Gareth had legit no idea how that happened.

At this point, he just wanted to go home and forgot the whole day. Week. Month. Year. Life. He was just so _tired_.

Whoever dared to say to him that the student life was the better life will meet his fist.

And now, fog was starting to cover up the whole place, which didn't help the atmosphere at all. It was scary, it was unpleasant, and somewhere in the distance his bed was calling him.

Then, a giggle came right out of the fog, and Gareth stopped – moving, breathing, everything.

There was a silhouette, big and bulky, approaching quietly and quickly. Gareth made eye contact, and he definitely saw the silhouette, whatever it was, pressing their finger to their lips in a very well-know gesture of not talking.

… Gareth was way too sleep-deprived for this.

He kept his mouth shut.

When he tried to find the silhouette again, it had vanished, blurring into the fog – or maybe it _was_ the fog. It was Gotham, after all, anything could happen. Gareth wouldn't be surprised. He was a native, he knew these things.

The giggles echoed again. One of the drug dealers shuddered, looking around worriedly. The others weren't at ease either.

What a mood.

“Boo,” said a voice, childish, low, amused. Gareth could picture the grin on the kid's face.

He was also pretty sure that the one who yelled was Gary. _Well, fuck you Gary, it's your fault we are here anyway_ , thought Gareth with not even an ounce of pettiness in him. Not at all.

The dealers all started to randomly shoot around, and all hell broke loose.

That was when Gareth started to really, truly fear for his life. Ducking bullets would do that to you.

Thanks to all the deities he could name (not enough), someone grabbed him by the collar and pushed him behind a crate.

“Stay here, kid,” said a voice – different from the first one, more mechanic maybe, and Gareth just caught the sight of _red_ before the person disappeared.

He closed his eyes and hid his face in his knees, doing his best to make sure no part of him was in the way. He could still hear shooting, some giggles – _creepy_ –, and the distinct sound of people being punched in the face.

Gareth wasn't sure how long it took – but after a while, everything stopped.

He didn't move, though.

He could hear his friends, apparently protected as well, talking, murmuring, waiting for what would come next.

He didn't answer when they called him. He was too scared to make any noises at all.

In the distance, he heard sirens – the police were coming, finally.

Gareth only raised his head when a police officer placed his hand on his shoulder.

The rest was a blur – the questions he had to answer, the blanket around his shoulders, his friends not that far away and thanks to all deities yet again, none of them hurt.

When Gareth raised his head again toward the sky, he saw two silhouettes on the roof of a nearby building. One was small, the other tall and bulky. The fog still present around seemed to come from them – in the blink of an eye, they were gone.

He was pretty sure he heard some voices, though.

“See, I was perfectly capable of fooling them. You didn't need to interfere with my job.”

“I'm supposed to watch over your ass, brat, so _of course_ I was gonna interfere. Besides, I still have shit to teach you. The giggles? It's weak. Replacement does it better than you.”

Gareth... didn't want to know.

He was way too tired for this.

* * *

**iii- Lexie**

Lexie wasn't supposed to go outside at night. She knew that, because her parents told her that every night like she was going to jump out of her window to run into the street.

… She did that _once_ , because she needed to give back to Tommy the lego set he loaned to her. She wasn't going to do that again!

But, well, her parents didn't listen to her, even when she was being reasonable. _Growns-up_.

Technically, Lexie wasn't outside. She was just leaning on the sill of her open window, letting the wind play with her hair, looking at the stars to try to find the ones her sister told her about.

Instead of stars, she found two people, sitting on the roof of her house. She didn't see them right away – she heard them first.

“It's _silly_.”

“It's _tradition_.”

“Still silly. And stupid.”

Lexie gaped, turning her head to see the figures. As a proud Gothamite kid, she would recognize the green, red and yellow uniform everywhere. “Robin!”

Robin stilled upon hearing her. She waved happily at him and his friend.

“Heya, little one,” said the man with the red helmet. Lexie couldn't see his face but he was with Robin, so he was obviously a good guy.

“Heya, Mister Red!”

“You should be careful. It's dangerous to be hanging out like that.”

She rolled her eyes. _Duh_ , _no_ , it _wasn't_ dangerous, she'd done it plenty of times before. The man laughed, and then jumped into the air.

Lexie gaped, even more when, somehow, the man landed in front of her, crouching on the window frame. “Wow,” she said, stepping backwards. “That's so cool. Can I do it too?”

“Nuh-uh. Not a good idea. What's your name, kid?”

“Lexie. And you?”

He laughed again, and Robin joined them. Instead of crouching at the window like his friend, he pushed the man's shoulder to enter into her room. He straightened once his feet were on the floor and looked around with a frown.

“I'm Red Hood. And you already know Robin.”

Lexie nodded eagerly. “What you were doing?”

“Oh, just talking.”

“You... have a lovely room,” suddenly said Robin, and Lexie beamed.

“Thank you!” She immediately threw her arms around Robin's waist to hug him. It was _awesome_. After a short moment, he returned the hug and patted her a little on her back.

“You should be in bed,” said the red guy after Lexie took a step back with a happy smile on her face. “It's late.”

She pouted and crossed her arms. “But I didn't see the stars yet!”

“Really? Which one were you trying to find?”

“I'm gonna show you!” Robin let her take his hand and drag him to the window, when she pointed to the sky and the only star she was able to recognize. The man stepped back to give her more room and looked too, listening to her.

It was very nice. And, again, _awesome_.

Lexie didn't really notice when she fell asleep on the two superheroes.

When she woke up in the morning, she was in bed, her window closed, and no trace of her two visitors. Her parents didn't believe her when she told them about what happened – but her sister smiled at her, with her eyes shining, and that night they both climbed on the roof to look at the stars together.

* * *

**iv- Ronald**

Ronald was old. He knew it – his bones reminded him of this fact every day, with every move he made. He was born in Gotham; lived in Gotham his whole life; he would die in Gotham too. He knew that as well.

He was old enough to remember the time when they didn't have any vigilantes around – no Batman or his supposed allies. He remembered when the guy started, how it took years for people to believe in his existence.

In all honesty, Ronald still wasn't entirely convinced. More in the _there's no way Batman's human_ kind of way than any other, really. He knew they existed, of course. Just not the particulars.

Anyway, Ronald was still a pure Gothamite, and being caught in a robbery attempt while doing his weekly shopping trip was downright annoying. Young people these days – they didn't respect anything anymore.

“Go sit with the others, old man!” one of the thugs yelled in his face, waving his gun around.

Ronald sent him an unimpressed look. “Listen, young man, I have been alive for twice as long as you. A “please” would be the least you can do. Your mother never taught you to respect your elders? Besides, I can't sit on the floor. I have arthritis, you see, and my doctor forbade me such activity. Bring me a chair and I will sit with the others, or be nice and carry my groceries for me.”

The thug spluttered. He was probably red under his hood. Behind him, the leader of the gang sighed. “Just... go with him, man, I don't think you can make him change his mind and we don't have the time to argue with him.”

“Thank you, young man. It's very amiable of you.” Ronald shoved his grocery bag into the thug's hand, immediately going on to the rest of his shopping; he didn't have time for these idiots, he had his program on TV at four pm. He couldn't miss it.

As soon as they were in a new section of the store and out of view of it other occupants, the thug dropped to the floor.

Ronald looked at him, then at the two vigilantes who appeared before him. They had appeared without a sound, seeming to come out of nowhere. And, sure, Ronald didn't have the perfect sight of his young age, but he had good glasses – he never saw them entering. They just... appeared. Like... they had teleported right in the store?

Well, he had more important problems right now. “That doesn't help me with my shopping,” he remarked.

“Sorry, sir. We wanted to make sure you were safe before we go take care of the others. Could you tell us something about the robbers?” asked the big one with the red helmet – what was he called again?

“This one,” he gestured to the one on the floor, “was very impolite. There are three of them left. The hostages are on the floor – can you believe they wanted me to sit with them? I have arthritis, you know, my doctor forbade me to do things like that. I'm too old for this. Anyway, they are near the counter.”

“Thank you, sir,” said the big man again, and the two of them made a step to leave – Ronald coughed.

“I still need help with my groceries.” He looked at them. They looked at him, then at each other. The little one in bright colors tilted his head. The big one huffed. Then both of them crossed their arms over their chest.

… They were probably using some sort of telepathic link to discuss. Ronald _knew_ they weren't humans.

“Alright,” said the big one again. “I'll help you. Let's go.”

The little one – didn't he have a bird name? – had already disappeared. Definitely not human.

The big one took his grocery bag and offered him his arm to help him walk. _Finally_ a polite young man. Not everything was lost for this city yet. Even if this one was an alien. Or a vampire.

They ignored the cries of pain and crashes on the floor to discuss cooking recipes and _Love and Desolation_ , his program for every late afternoon. This young man even watched it, what were the odds?

They came back to the cashier slowly. All the thugs were tied up on the floor, groaning in pain and nursing bruises and minor injuries. The others civilians – a young couple and two teenagers – were going back to their shopping as well. Or, in the case of the couple, panicking. _Tourists._

They were probably from Metropolis.

“Here,” said the young man while putting money on the counter. “For this charming old man's groceries. Keep the change.”

“Thank you, dear. It was a pleasure.”

“For me as well.” The young man saluted him, and then went to rejoin his fellow vigilante.

The little one was looking at him with an amused smirk. The big one huffed – again.

“What, squirt? Jealous I'm making new friends and you aren't?”

Ronald didn't hear the rest of their conversation – they had already disappeared.

Maybe they were travelling by shadows?

* * *

**v- Morgan**

Morgan had nothing against Gotham. It was their city, and they loved it.

On the other hand, they definitely had something against the countless crazies running around the city and committing crimes.

_Especially_ in a situation like this one.

“If anyone moves, I'm killing the hostage!”

In case it needed to be said: Morgan was the hostage.

They didn't even know how they ended up like that; they were just doing their Christmas shopping as usual and bam! It happened. To add to the shame, the guy holding a gun to their head was Condiment King.

Yes, the gun was a ketchup one. Morgan had no idea how Condiment King thought he could kill them with that, because that didn't seem very effective. Maybe he was hoping no one would realize?

Red Hood, from where he was in front of them, seemed to think the same as Morgan. Exhaustedly, he said, “Listen, dude... Could you, like, put the gun down and leave the hostage alone? I won't even punch you, I swear.”

“No!” yelled Condiment King, right into Morgan's ear. “Just let me go! I wasn't even doing anything!”

“You tried to rob the jewelry store.”

“It's for my wife!”

“You're not married, dude.”

Something suddenly dropped on them, sending them both bodily on the floor, and the villain yelled again, either in shock or pain, they didn't know. The gun joined the floor with a clatter, and Hood quickly grabbed Morgan to put them to safety beside the nearest police officer, in the corner of the street the passers-by had amassed.

“You're okay here?” he asked, looking them over.

Morgan sighed. “Yeah, thanks.”

“It's our job. We're born for this and all of that,” said Red Hood. Then, he patted Morgan's head – and it made them feel so small, because even with their average height this dude was impossibly _tall_ – and joined Robin.

Alright, then. Morgan had been saved by a child. That could have been worse. Probably. At least it was Robin.

Morgan blinked when they realized what Hood just said. “Wait. Born for this?”

The two vigilantes stilled. Robin – glared? looked? – at Red Hood. Red Hood made a hand gesture at Robin. Morgan couldn't see him, but they were pretty sure he was smirking.

Robin looked at them with a deadpan face. “Yes. We are born from the coupling of Batman and Justice.”

Morgan gaped. They didn't have time to react that the two vigilantes had already disappeared.

… _What?!_

* * *

**\+ vi- Zach**

Zach had the habit of living off bad jobs. Which meant, he was usually doing work for the villains of Gotham.

Which meant that, habitually, he preferred when their jobs weren't that successful. Like, successful, but only a little, because if they were too successful, they would have the Bats dropping on them soon enough.

So, right now, Zach was fearing for his life.

He was working with Two-Face currently. It was always kind of terrifying because you never knew when he was going to turn on you and kill you, but it paid well.

They had ambushed the Bats.

They got one of them.

It was the Red Hood – he was tied up in the back of the warehouse.

So, Zach was fearing for his life. The Bats never reacted well when one of them was taken.

Behind him, he could hear the others talking about the town vigilantes – a bunch of gossips, all of them.

“I tell you, the big one is a _vampire_!”

“And I'm telling you that they're actually all the same entity. Maybe even a demon. They're probably anchored to a human... Maybe even Gordon himself.”

… The thought was terrifying. Zach didn't want to hear it anymore.

He knew about the numerous legends around the Bats, of course – who in Gotham didn't know about them? Most of them speculated that they weren't humans – the most common one said they were the manifestation of Gotham itself, who couldn't bear the crime it was full of and thus created Batman.

And, well, Zach knew they were real, sure – after all, his numerous bills to the dentist proved it. Thanks to the Wayne Foundation, at least he didn't have to pay them. But – like always, the question was _What are they really?_

Zach didn't have a good answer to that. That shouldn't worry him as much as it did, but since one of the Bats was swearing at them – or reciting Shakespeare, Zach wasn't sure anymore – and the others weren't probably that far away, it was cause of concern.

There was a crack somewhere – if he had to guess, he would say ceiling-level, probably. It wasn't clear, just a thud, not even loud at all. He only heard it because he had excellent hearing.... and because he was feeling paranoid. Immediately, he knew it was a Bat.

Zach turned around, worry flooding on his face. “Did you hear that?”

“Hear what? I didn't hear anything.”

“There was something,” insisted Zach. Another crack sounded, closer now. “There!”

One of his coworkers seemed uneasy, now. “I'm pretty sure I heard it too...”

Bill rolled his eyes, but Bill was stupid anyway. He never knew when to quit. “Probably just a car backfiring or something. You're freaking out over nothing.”

It was a giggle, this time – and no one could deny that the sound was real. They looked at each other, for the very classic who-gets-thrown-at-the-bats-first search.

It was the new guy, like always. Too bad, Nigel was nice. He made bad choices in life, sure, but still nice. Zach would have preferred to send in Bill.

Nigel never came back, as expected.

The giggle did, though, and it was creepy as hell.

Zach could feel sweat drip down his spine.

All the lights went out at the same time.

Zach could only hear his own breathing and the pounding of his heart.

Only instinct made him dodge the kick destined to his face; when he turned toward his assailant, he only had the time to spot bright color, the familiar R logo, the victorious smirk of the child.

Then, Zach fell into the darkness, his temple flaring with a sudden pain.

(Just before he let go of his consciousness, he saw Robin running to Red Hood, untying him and looking over him frantically. Red Hood placed his hands on the kids' shoulders.

“Shh, shh, kiddo, it's alright, I'm fine. You did a great job.”

They hugged – and Zach wasn't sure of anything about the Bats anymore, but he knew without a doubt that these two were siblings.)

**Author's Note:**

> Happy End of the Years Holidays!!
> 
> Take care, a lot of love for you all!! :heart:


End file.
